Cheerleading your Menopause Journey - Lee-Ann Cordingley - Certified Sex Coach & Clinical Sexologist

Let's kick off with a big cheer for all of us navigating the exciting terrain of peri- and post-menopause!

As a certified sex coach, experienced yoga teacher and ultimate cheerleader for embracing our sexy at every stage of life, I want to tell you that I don’t believe our lives don’t have to be flushed down the swanny at this stage of life, we shouldn’t be put out to pasture and we certainly shouldn’t allow ourselves to be defined by just the physiological symptoms of our retreating oestrogen.

I had the absolute pleasure of listening to the supremely knowledgeable Dr Alice Duffy at the Pause and Unite monthly meet-up in February 2024 and you’ve landed here on the wonderful resources of the Pause and Unite website because you’ve been looking for answers or relief from, let’s face it, annoying and sometimes downright uncomfortable symptoms. Why on earth it’s called “The Change”, I do not know when there are so many changes that can - but might not - happen in your body.

But I’m a lover of a coin toss - we all know there are two sides so I’m all for bringing about the reframe of the commonly accepted Doom and Gloom perspective of menopause.....let's dive into this exhilarating new chapter of our lives!

Remember that as well as the changes, peri- and post-menopause also bring opportunities for growth, exploration, and yes, a whole lot of sexy. I, for one, see my own journey through peri-menopause as a thrilling adventure – a chance to embrace my femininity, harness my wisdom, and rediscover what truly ignites my passion.

In my world for the last few years, I’ve rebranded menopause as being the Age of Truth.

Mood swings, brain fog and pesky night sweats might not be the sexiest thing out there, but there’s a hell of a chance that in this stage of life, you have far greater clarity about the things you like and the things you don’t like. There's beauty in the transformation - nobody gets to live in their 20 year old body forever more, even male clients lament the loss of their toned buff bodies to me - but I promise you there is nothing more alluring or sexy that you can wear than confidence, and that comes from embracing your body, flaws and all. You can follow this link to a free Positive Body Image meditation to start celebrating the body you get to live in Every. Single. Day!!

There are so many wonderful elements to this new stage of life, and as Dr Alice says, we very likely have another 30+ years in it. Imagine spending 30+ years feeling like you got shortchanged?! There are so many great things you can do to improve our physical health and the quality of you life, and each of those proactive changes will impact your confidence and self esteem in positive ways which, guess what? Will up-level your pleasure game too!

And oh boy, don’t you just deserve all the pleasure?! Pleasure knows no age limit, and it certainly doesn't have to disappear with menopause. If vaginal dryness tries to rain on your parade, know that there are trusty lubricants to save the day - all of my clients will attest to the fact that I shout about lube being the best sex toy - whether you experience dryness or not! I’d highly recommend adding some to your beside drawer for easy access whether you entertain a PlayPal or have precious Me Time dates.

Sensations around the clitoris and vulva can feel different, but it just means you get to explore all over again, discovering what brings you joy, exploring new erogenous zones, sensual massages, or simply basking in the warmth of intimacy. I am all in for shouting about why you deserve more pleasure and fun in your life, if you want some more tips and tricks that might help you can join me for a gathering of Inspired Sensuality on International Women's Day (8th March ’24) and follow me on social media -  to celebrate your undeniable sexiness.

Oh but wait, what if you’re not in the mood? Ah yes, that old demon, Libido....
Perhaps you might experience a differing libido than before, but given that everyone’s libido is so very unique and so very ‘contextual’ it stands to reason that that will alter too. I’ve had women in their 50’s tell me their desire for sex is higher than it’s ever been - it’s all changeable. You can kind of think of it as a soup with physical sensations, arousal patterns, tiredness factors, and relationship discord, work pressures all being mixed in. If the ingredients all feel tough or uninteresting on their own, it’ll make for a very drab-tasting soup. Toss that coin, as I like to do, and see the other side. Let’s shake up the ingredients mixing in spells of laughter, feeling energetic after dancing in the kitchen, being well-rested, well-nourished and hydrated, you get far lass the drab soup and far more something that can resemble a glittering, sparkling elixir.
Which will you serve yourself?
Instead of chasing after your libido of previous years, focus on the small sensations of pleasure that might not be of a sexual nature at all - I like to call them Glimmers - nurturing your own desires and embracing the ebbs and flows of your sexuality. Sometimes it's about reigniting the spark within yourself and it really does help to be able to communicate with or lean on your partner or trusted friend for understanding.
It is said that where your attention goes, energy flows, and I know that you are an intelligent, vibrant woman who knows her own mind, so remember there are two sides to every coin toss - which side will you chose to focus on, babe?

with pleasure and endless cheer, Lee-ann x

Thanks to Lee-Ann Cordingley - a Certified Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist based in Nottingham. Coaching people to feel empowered and vibrant using their sexuality for a pleasure-filled and happy life.